As a child, I enjoyed observing cyclical patterns within families. What did this look like? It looked like me reading biographies and autobiographies. I had an ulterior motive of understanding how the decisions of the parents impacted their children and grandchildren. This fascination began when I first heard the word “Generational Curse.” This word was typically associated with a “bad behavior” that was transferred over a span of generations. Although there are times when there’s a spiritual component, it’s my belief that the majority of the time what one may view as a generational curse is truly a learned behavior passed along the generations.
A generational learned behavior (At least that’s what I like to call it! *wink) is something an individual learns as they interact with the world. Follow me, a learned behavior is learned through our experiences or our observations. An example of this is seen, if you’ve watched your Mother respond to agitating circumstances by using verbally aggressive sarcasm on a daily basis. If you’ve observed this behavior on a daily basis then you may pick up habits similar to your Mother’s behavior.
As you assess your own behaviors remember this generational learned behavior is similar to a trait. It’s sort of like your “go to” within a negative or a positive situation. These behaviors are shaped by how you’ve learned to interact with others, partnered with your religious customs and “go to” coping skills.
As a Therapist, I’ve heard people say, “But, I’ve been like this my whole life; I can’t change.” I oftentimes encourage my clients to accept that if the “bad behavior” was learned then it can definitely be “Un-Learned.” It just takes time, and linking your arms with someone who can assist you in sorting through your experiences. There are some experiences/behaviors that you’ve learned that have helped you to survive while there are other learned behaviors that may have hindered your growth or relationships.
So whether you want to call it a generational curse or a generational learned behavior it can be broken. Trust me, there’s hope. Just because you may have been a certain way for several years doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. What are your thoughts? Is it a generational curse, or a learned behavior?
If you’re interested in getting paired with a Therapist contact us at Artisan Counseling where we are dedicated to the craft of Therapy.
https://artisancounseling.com/
Respectfully,
Tierra W. Ruffin, LPC
